RelationShips

There’s many different factors that can create strain on even the most stable of relationships. Here are a few I could think off in a nice little Word poem. (as you can see its incomplete so if you can think of one for a certain letter let me know, even if the letters done and you think you have a better one)

R - is for Realising its all a mistake
E - is for Eating His food.
L - is for Lying
A - is for Accusations
T - is for trust (lack of)
I - is for internet
O - is for orgasm (or lack of)
N - is for
S - is for
H - is for Hurt
I - is for
P - is for Past
S - is for

The first factor I think, is something that happens to people who are finding themselves. Teenagers ect. Its the not understanding your emotions that lead us to think we "love" someone when in fact its just infatuation, which we all know Burns out eventually. I know that With me personally this played a factor in some of my relationships. This is just something that happens it can be hurtful to the person you realise you don’t actually want, but its important to make sure you understand how your feeling before you say anything. No one likes to be "yo-yoed"

"Eating his food" is more a metaphor for Annoyance, Spend to much time with a person and your guaranteed to get annoyed by something. One of my pet peeves is someone eating food off my plate. Its my food that’s why the plates in front of me, if you wanted what I got you should get your own.
Annoyance can cause arguments, as Anger builds up its harder and harder to restrain. so if your arguing about silly things and want to work through it you need to take the time to do your own thing. Communicate about what exactly annoys you and why. This advice is obviously geared to the more adult readers. Who with any luck know this already.

Lying, A big player in my last break up. Lying breeds doubt, Destroys trust, and the "victim of the lie" loses self worth. The Lie(i.e.) is lying for a reason, perhaps to hide something out of fear, Or because they know they've done something bad. Communication is the key here also, if you have something to confess, confess it. There’s a rule I live by, "if you cant handle the guilt You shouldn’t be lying"
Lying is a horrible thing which effects both people in negative ways. Trust is lost where it needn’t be. People who lie about little things might be Habitual/ compulsive lying. How to spot the difference?
Compulsive liars Cant help it, They lie about just about everything, Its a type of OCD.
Habitual, lie out of habit, perhaps they had to lie in a past relationships and just haven’t broken the habit yet.

Accusations. Being accused of something you haven’t done is bad enough but to have it happen every day is a tiring thing to go through, its surprising how many people survive this though, personally I think id lose patience long before I strove to fix this problem but that’s just me. accusations can come from anything, a change in ones behaviour, cheating. someone’s past. lying lack of trust. Its important to talk, and rebuild trust, if you cant, then move on, a relationship without trust and communication wont last long.

Lack of Trust, Leads to controlling behaviour, jealousy. Arguments. and even violence. it can be present in a relationship for a reason, perhaps one cheated on the other, or it can be through being hurt after trusting someone in past relationship. Its important to remember that people are different and not judge on past events. If you’ve chosen to forgive someone for cheating then its important to let go of the animosity you feel, and rebuild your trust for each other.

Internet is a new player in relationship problems. (not brand-new) but with the abilities to chat to/see anyone from around the world at the click of a button, it can create insecurities in partners. even more so if the "Net" becomes centre of attention. A partner could prefer to browse internet sex sites or porn rather than come to bed with you. or perhaps chat to people around the world then have a conversation with you. My only advice here is Bring a bit of fun back into the relationship. Do more things as a couple. Go out together more and show your partner that your just as (if not more) fun to be around.
Where cyber is concerned its all about honesty. what a person will accept in a relationship and what a person can compromise. Its normal for a relationship to "die down" but there is no reason why it cant have the "fire" brought back into it.

Orgasms (or lack of), Sex plays a big part in relationships. With some people it works and its amazing, with others it doesn’t. Lying about it working is a BIG no-no here. How do you expect someone to Change or "get better" if they think there doing a "good Job". Be honest if its not working, Tell them what you like. If your scared of hurting that person, Then do it in a sensitive way. Be understanding of each others feelings.

Hurt, There are allot of Things that can hurt someone be it physically and emotionally, and this is about both types. Its important to be understanding of each others feelings. To listen as well as share your own opinion. For a relationship to work both people have to be able to communicate in a mature and adult way.
A relationship isn’t about “taking digs” at one another.

Past, I think this is something that varies in relationships, But knowing to much about someone’s past can be a bad thing. It depends on the person’s past I guess. But its normal to want to know everything about the person your in a relationship with. Its normal to get annoyed at what you hear But its also irrelevant. People should not be condemned for their past. So if a partner wishes to share something from there past, Listen, if you start not to like it and don’t think you can deal with it. Tell them your not ready to hear it yet.



That’s all I have so far, ill think a little more into what could effect relationships I know there are lots of factors that put strain on a relationship. But I want them to fit the word poem.
For a relationship to work you need these things.

Trust
Openness
Understanding
Communication
Honesty

To me there they are the main “must haves” with any relationship. But you also need to have a natural interest with that person, as well as things in common, I believe the things you don’t have in common are just as important. Those things that set you apart make you different people. Make you yourself. One should never have to feel like they have to hide a part of themselves. With healthy “T.O.U.C.H” in a relationship, I believe it can survive almost anything. Compromise isn’t always about doing something you don’t want to, its about mutual compromise to. Remember that.

For now though ill leave this as it is. If I get any suggestions ill edit this post as they come.

Thank you

“DrHouse”
Wayne.S

Ok Before i start.

I thought i might as well explain alittle about why ive made this blog, as well as what id like from you the reader.

This isnt supposed to be something you read forget and move onto, its a mini noneprofit idea. Where me and you (the readers) work as one to write some hopefully interesting and informative information on certain aspects of life.

I have no Psychology, this blog isnt about information ive found in books just my own personal opinion Which as you read, you'll see is a very brutly honest one.
Driven by no hostility only a want to let people know whats on my mind.

So heres where you come in, if you have a certain issue youd like me to talk about, Email me it. (contact details will be at the bottom of this post)
If you have more to add to my posts, feel free to post your thoughts to. this is a place where we can all share our opinion.

usually i would already have prepared some issues to write up about on this, but since this was a spare of the moment decision i cant promise to make new posts on "weekly" bases, ill post when i have something to talk about.

so yeah ill think of something to talk about. in the mean time if theres any issues youd like me to talk abou.
email your suggestions to Waynes1987@live.co.uk